Damn it’s like looking in a mirror.
How do they know I’m so horny ??
I’m a Christian, the opposite happens as well. Why can’t we discuss our beliefs in a civilized manner? I will never tell my “pastor” about an atheist or theist in my area. Especially considering I have atheist friends.
I have Christian friends. We all hang out because none of it matters. Sometimes we chat about it for the sake of chatting about it, but generally it’s the last thing on anyone’s mind. People who are vocal about their beliefs, one way or another, are annoying.
I lost a great life long friend 4 years ago and we gamed together. Sometimes when religion came up in a game we discussed it. Disagreed about it. Picked the controllers back up and played some more.
“Why some of my best friends are atheists! I just don’t let them anywhere near my kids.”
I don’t need to discuss your beliefs for the same reason I don’t need to discuss the beliefs of the schizophrenic man that stands outside my building, clad in a blanket, shouting at the sky.
I remember two adults acting as aegis for their child. The kid approached my door, handed me a flyer and asked me to come to his Jesus party. The parents were smiling hopefully. I have no idea what Jesus party even meant.
I kneeled and said flatly “There’s no such thing as Jesus. Your parents and your pastor are lying to you.”
They were HORRIFIED, the parents rushed up my stoop, the father literally grabbed the kid under his arm like a football and they fled.
Am I an asshole? No. That child needed to know he’s being deceived.
Possibly unpopular opinion by a fellow atheist, but you’re just as bad as a preaching Christian by doing that. Trying to turn others to your belief system, however right it may be, is shitty, homie. Way to ruin a kids party, when you admit yourself you didn’t even know what they meant by Jesus Party. Made an assumption, ruined a kids week. YTA.
Meh. If you come knocking on my door and tell me all about Jesus I’d probably tell you he’s been dead for two thousand years. I don’t have to support your delusion just because you barged into my life, and I think accommodating that bullshit just makes Christians worse.
Would I say that if I passed someone by on the street? No, of course not. But if you ask for my opinion you’re going to get it.
Nah. They knocked on the door and interrupt a stranger’s day to sell Jesus. They need to learn to not do that if they’re not prepared to deal with the responses.
The difference is OP didnt go knocking on their door spreading their belief. If they cant handle differing views fear of shaking their faith… than maybe dont go knocking on stranger’s doors preaching your beliefs.
When did he say they were spreading their beliefs? Didn’t sound like they said anything about religion except that it was a Jesus themed party, and he didn’t even know what that meant, it could have meant a lot of things.
True that the parents were using the kid as a shield. True that Our Hero turned the fire that should have targeted the parents onto the kid. ESH.
I bet this guy also goes to the mall during Christmas and yells to the line of kids that Santa isn’t real.
Fucking cowards lol
They will never be able to take from that child, the seed of truth I planted in that moment.
Not trying to over-inflate the incident, but I remember being that young and looking to my elders for guidance. It would have been great if one rebel, at any point in my childhood, just said yeah I don’t buy this shit either.
Holy shit. I can’t believe I recognize this art.
This shit is ancient, and it was drawn as satire/bait. Nobody is handing out these flyers seriously. This post is rather embarrassing. Satire is dead I guess.
Edit: sources:
Source for text: scroll for text. I don’t know where the goat went. This website is a high-effort satire page that hasn’t been updated since like 2010. Looks real at first glance but just click around, it’s clearly not a real church.
Yeah I remember this from back in the day. Indignant atheist teenage me was pretty incensed at first, but the page about plans to build a massive cross-shaped satellite that transmits bible verses was a bit of a giveaway.
So I followed your link, found the quoted text, and and had a look around the website. I genuinely cannot tell if this is satire. Most of the links are now dead, but the ones that work seem to lead to serious sources. If it is satire, it is very high effort.
Anyway, I’m going to share with a friend who has more personal experience with this kind of thing and get their perspective.
So quick update: my friend who was homeschooled in a religious household but is now atheist thinks it is not satire. My take is that if this is satire, it’s going over a lot of people’s heads.
i cant believe some people think this is satire i mean come on its a real ministry with a clear message of love and salvation through jesus christ its not some kind of joke or parody its a genuine attempt to spread the word of god and bring people to christ
i mean look at the content like habus corner where it says wouldnt you rather have just one god who loves you a bunch than a bunch of gods that dont love you at all thats just so profound and insightful
and the maze training where you help lambuel get to the church on time while avoiding temptations thats just so practical and wise i mean who wouldnt want to avoid money and ice cream and slutty lips and a cozy bed
i mean what kind of person would create a fake ministry just to mock good christians and make fun of their faith
I think there is worse in churches with actual believers.
There is.
And for all He’s done for us, all Jesus wants is for us to love Him back! He wants us to love Him soooo much that any other love would be like hate: "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." I love Jesus more than ANYTHING… how 'bout YOU?
Cmon really? How is it not evident that this is satire?
Ps: it wasn’t very clear, but just adding to previous fellow’s points.
Pretty sure the post you’re responding to is satire. Poe’s Law.
Well, there’s this…
…but honestly, I could see somebody sufficiently naive not recognizing that for what it is.
This one, however, is a bit less covert:
And then you recall reading this in the intro on the first page, and a pattern starts to develop:
My OBJECTIVE is JUST 4 KIDZ! The “Z” is for “ZEALOUSNESS,” 'cause Jesus wants us to be hot for Him, not lukewarm.
It’s satire, but Poe’s Law is STRONG with this one! There are plenty of people who unironically believe more ridiculous things than what’s on that site.
There is an image to a shop page:
This link is broken. Hmm… If this were a real organization that needed money, wouldn’t they either shut this site down entirely or fix their shop page?
Notice the LOL acronym. Now visit this page:
Here are some of my favorites (notice most of these children are pretty talented and drawing with computer programs in 2010):
Edit: I should have grabbed the image with “shotacat” lmao
Man this brings me back, haven’t seen this since the 2000s. You can find the goat as a printable figure on the Kidz crafts link
I don’t know where the goat went.
It tries to serve you
.swf(Shockwave Flash) versions unless your browser doesn’t support embedding, in which case it’ll serve you.gifs instead. I guess that, since modern browsers do support embedding in general but not Flash, that’s why they don’t display either version.Here are some of the
.gifalternatives:
The only one I don’t get is the Hebrew kangaroo. I guess the artist couldn’t figure out what fauna was appropriate so they went for a rhyme instead? IMO, there’s lots to choose from, but a “rabbi rabbit” would have also been pretty clever.
Edit: as a work of satire, I guess all four are equally and deliberately screwed up, now that I think about it.
Satire is dead I guess.
Yes. We’re at this point now. It’s Poe’s law.
After clicking through the site, and seeing a list of church members, I’m really not sure it’s satire. If it is, it’s keeping a very very straight face.
It is.
Just tell them to come back to you after they get everyone that’s already Christian to agree on everything first.
Guaranteed this was put out by a very clever anti social atheist
I was WAY more grumpy as a believer. Whoever wrote this probably pisses off all the atheists around them because they don’t know how to treat them.
Fr. I was so grumpy when I thought I believed in God because I’d gaslit myself into thinking I deserved to go to hell for not being able to force myself to believe “enough”. Super healthy mindset for an 8 year old right? Right??
Right? I basically gained 1.5 days per week that had been previously ripped from me.
As a former catholic, I still can’t wrap my head around a whole day of worship followed by an all-evening “bible study” later in the week. I distinctly recall priests getting to the point, singing a few songs, reading some stuff, knocking out a few weekly rituals, feeding the entire congregation, all in under 45 minutes1. I can’t fathom what another 18+ hours of weekly religiosity would even contain.
- Hey padre, can we speed this up? There’s a game on right now and that parking lot is a nightmare.
Yeah it was awful.
We were always taught that people with that attitude were “lukewarm Christians,” and that god would “spew you out of his mouth” (yes, that’s literally in the Bible).
Also, whether or not Catholics were even “Christian” by our definition, would get you different answers depending who you asked. Many viewed the concept of praying to a saint, or the virgin Mary, to be directly in conflict with the idea of monotheism (but the Trinity is different, because…?)
While ignorance is bliss, and I’m sure it feels nice to believe in something more, I’m glad to be free of that madness.
This is a bit more insidious than it appears- because it’s asking kids to rat out atheists to religious officials.
There are absolutely areas in the US where being discovered as an atheist will ruin your life.
I’ll never accept any religion as long as atheist hate remains. How can you blame someone for not believing something with zero substantial evidence?
You can always say you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, tho.
It’s so fucking culty to prevent kids from getting information that goes against the religious leader’s beliefs as well.
“Don’t talk to the atheist! They might give you bad ideas that will send you to HELL” Literally preventing the spread of information that goes against their beliefs.
It’s called indoctrination. This is ironic as Christian Nationalists are in the vanguard against Transvestite Story Hour and panic over all the gay/transexual/satanic grooming that’s going on.
It’s only indoctination if they are do it. If it’s us, it’s education.
TBH, it’s all indoctrination, or non of it is. The word “indoctrination” has taken on negative connotations (maybe it always was a fright word). However, I think, focussing on the word and it’s connotations is, perhaps concentrating on the wrong thing. I think the spotlight should be shifted to the content of how we bring up the kids.
"Witness techniques ". = Regurgitating religious propaganda and “gotchas”
Yeah, I’m a grumpy atheist. Guess what, I was an even grumpier theist.
Believing that there was a god who could make life less shitty for everyone but simply chooses not to would definitely make me grumpier.
Oh yes, i really should be handled by an adult.
Um, hi, I’m an adult!
Father, we also have other related news, We have a cease and desist from the Almighty claiming that if we continue to use his name to push our own agenda he is ready to take legal action.
You cannot attempt to battle an atheist unless you’re a level 10 Christian with at least a max level crucifix.
That will only work if the atheist doesn’t have any patients proficiencies, which comes with almost every athiest subclass. This gives the athiest advantage on charisma, intelligence, and wisdom saving throws from a character with the Christian class against the atheist. This is of course negated completely if the christian comes into the battle with the lawyered-up buff, but I didn’t splurge on the LegalEagle’s Book of Many Laws. So I’m not sure how that mechanic works.
Very advanced witnessing techniques are required, such as compromat or threat of hanging.
Turns out, the Bible is wrong. The truth will not set you free. The truth makes you into a grumpy goat.
But what of tithing?? Who shall
griftreceive these woebegone atheist’s untaxed revenues?
