IF YOU DON’T RULE AND STONE, YOU AIN’T COMING HOME!

This is a quote from The Onion’s endorsement of Joe Biden for president, which was posted October 3, because it’s The Onion.

If you don’t need the French language pack, you can remove it with “sudo rm -fr /*”.

I saw that happen once in a big presentation.

There was a team of students presenting their work to ~200 people. Right in the middle, a pop-up says updates are finished and the computer needs to restart. It has a helpful 60-second countdown, but “cancel” is grayed out, so all they can do is watch.

I was only in the audience and I still have nightmares.

Obviously someone with BEAST MODE activated.

Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

HAVE YOU TRIED CRANKING YOUR HOG?