God's hairiest twink

Not a torrent but maybe something like Kotatsu (https://f-droid.org/packages/org.koitharu.kotatsu) can help you find it

*American

Yeah but think of the short term profits they could make with some enshitification, it would be enough for at least like two yachts per shareholder

As someone in a similar situation I’d recommend using a free tier oracle vps with a wireguard tunnel to connect to you services. Effectively just using the vps as a proxy for your own network. Here’s a guide that should work for your purposes https://github.com/mochman/Bypass_CGNAT

It looks like its just a different DNS server that allows them to resolve their own special TLDs