With my laptop.

Nope, Scandinavia.

Well I moved to the Arctic to be away from distractions

I spilled a glass of scrumpy on the keyboard and a, s, and d no longer work. So I have to use a keyboard with it.

Find a company you want to work for, hack into their accounts and add yourself to their payroll.

Is it normal for people to set up surveillance cameras in their own home? Are break-ins that common? I just assume no-one will bother with my shitty flat.