The outcome of this situation is gonna vary based on OP’s age and gender. Hopefully school in this instance is college. If OP is female it could be worse then male, if he starts treating them as a surrogate wife. I advise their dad getting some therapy or getting family therapy together. He needs to learn a healthier way to deal.
If it was me, I’d ask why the heck he’s proposing marriage, since that’s apparently what he thinks a wife is for.
See if that maybe wakes him up to how absurd his idea is
That’s weird as heck and you should tell him that
Oh wow. You should show this man how to use online dating or something.
Has anyone else noticed a spike in posts about abusive fathers by new accounts lately that then get deleted? Especially here but in other communities as well. I’m not saying this specific post isn’t real but it’s getting a bit weird.
The person who posted pics of theyre new place with one double bed they share with theyre father struck me as odd.
There were more posts like this: the weird hotel room one, the artshare of OP father’s feet. I’m hesitant to put them in the same category as this because they looked like normal posts but again they seem to be deleted (or at least I can’t find them now).
Yep, started on AMA and it looks like it’s here now as well. I called one out, the person defended themself and then 24h later the account was deleted. Maybe it’s for AI training? 🤔
Yes… I haven’t checked the profiles to see history, but yes. Id say this is the 4th I’ve seen this month while maybe seeing 2 or 3 others in the past 18 months.
I think this is the third or fourth I’ve seen this week. And when searching for them later they’re gone.
I wouldn’t go as far as to call my father abusive.
Emotionally pressuring you to step back from education.
There are plenty of people outside looking in, that would call this abuse.
In my mind abuse is like beatings, being insulted, neglected, etc. Maybe I have the wrong image in my head.
You do have the wrong image in your head. Abuse is not limited to physical abuse. Frankly, it’s the emotional and psychological stuff that can be much more scarring in the long term (not to mention harder for others to recognize).
As someone older who has experience with an egocentric, narcissistic father, there are many ways they can fuck you up without any direct aggression. There’s no need to go all Reddit “CUT ALL TIES IMMEDIANOW!!1!!1”, but watch out for yourself, no one else will.
If you’re under 18 and in the US your parents could lose legal custody over guardianship and you could become a child of the state – an orphan – for denying you an education.
You are arguably being insulted and neglected.
“And when you die and I have no education or work experience, then what?”
No need to say how old you are, but in case you do still live there, get out as soon as you can. Talk to other relatives or friends/parents of friends you can trust about this. Do not talk to anyone who seems close to your dad unless you are sure they would not agree if his behaviour.
“Sorry father, you’re an adult, take care of yourself.”
Thats very alarming language from someone who is meant to be taking care of you as their child.
What’s “it” in this context?
The house.
make sure to stay in contact with other family and some friends at least every 2 or 3 days, so you have someone who keeps an eye on the situation if he oversteps
Thanks for your advice. Fortunately he’s not mean or aggressive or stuff like that, just veryyy clingy.
Abuse doesn’t have to be physical or screaming, there’s also emotional abuse.
Please get out asap
it’s just in case he locks you into a room and takes your phone to prevent you from going to school. would be good if ppl come looking for you. tell some friends/family your address
Not being glib - you will need this book.
Thanks. What does glib mean btw?
I appreciate the willingness to learn new things… but how is it not easier to just type “glib” into your url bar and read the definition that comes up? Takes less than 3 seconds.
Why waste your time typing that comment?
Because I’m bored at work?
Glib means offhand, or insincere in this context.
A lot of internet comments can be thoughtless, meant as a cheap joke or empty attempt to fight boredom rather than really help someone.
google. still a thing.
If I want to know how to cook with glue, I’ll ask Google.
Ah yes, just what we need in a burgeoning online community: people discouraging interactions.
So are conversations between people. That is to say, of course people could look things up themselves; but then you lose out on the uniqueness that talking to another human being brings to the table.
It means that’s a serious answer, and a serious recommendation. And I agree that you should read that book.
It’s a game changer.
If by game one could mean a generational cycle of perpetually unfit parenting…
i feel like that’s more than just mildly infuriating
Well that’s a bit alarming.
